It’s telling that I haven’t posted this update until a week after it was due. For March, so far, I haven’t done a daily reading challenge. For the final week of February, I ended up reading only 3x again, on Monday, Thursday and Friday.

I’d been feeling ‘off’ for a bit now but that feeling really heightened starting a few weeks ago, to the extent that I became practically paralysed from doing many things. I knew something was wrong but it wasn’t until on Friday night, by God’s grace, Jacky and I really spoke about it that I began to realise what was happening.

Jacky was able to bear my burdens and pray for me, and I was able to confess my sins to him and trust in God’s promises delivered through the words of James:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

James 5:16, ESV

It had been such a long time since I’d suffered a spiritual attack that I’d really started to let my guard down. I was almost feeling guilty about not having had one, since they tend to come on fast and strong whenever I’m trying to work unto the Lord. The absence of them almost made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

Almost. Thankfully, I know that biblically that is just simply not true, but the thought has crossed my mind a few times. I am not feeling relieved that it turns out I have been spiritually attacked, but I am thankful that Jacky and I have prayed about it together and I feel like an oppressive weight has been lifted from me.

I thank God for still working in me during this time, and for granting me victory over these recent attacks. I thank God that it’s not due to my merit or power or ability, but it was all His. It relieves me of a burden I’d never be able to bear, a truth from which I derive much comfort, but it also means that all glory rightly belongs to Him.

God is awesome.

SDG,

Crystina

I did read 5 days this week, as originally intended. But I did not read on all the days that I thought I would. I ended up not reading on Wednesday, and reading on Sunday instead. The other reading days were as I had originally planned.

I try to spend more time meditating on the chapter when possible. Jacky and I had a couple of mornings where we ate breakfast and read/did our devotional together, which I enjoyed a lot. I haven’t really begun to commit the passage to memory but I am starting to naturally be able to remember parts of it.

It’s just occurred to me to do a devo on the passage daily, or at least each verse, throughout the month – one verse per day or something. I would definitely have it committed to memory by the end of the month. However, it feels like there are a lot of things that I want to accomplish and I must find time to prioritise them all.

Since I work now, it’s not possible for me to do all the things I want whenever I want anymore. I will pray about it; perhaps it’s something I can consider doing from next month onwards.

Blessings,

Crystina

The week’s reading did not go well. I wish I had a good reason for it? But I don’t. There were multiple times during the day, or even in the evening, where I’d thought, “I should read.” But I just didn’t do it.

I ended up only reading on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Again, it wasn’t that I didn’t have devo time on other days, but it does show an issue with my heart that I did not prioritise something as simple as reading an additional 21 verses at some point during my day.

It shows an idolatry problem. It shouldn’t be a burden to read an extra chapter, but rather an opportunity to spend more time with my Creator and He who should be my first love. There is nothing more I can say to this, it is sin. But, thankfully, God does not hold it against me, for my sins have already been paid for by the precious blood of Christ.

He remains faithful, even when I am faithless, and thank God that His love for me is not dependent on my behaviour or who I am, but because of who He is. What’s more, equally thankfully, God’s not finished with me yet, and He does not leave me where I’m at. May God work in me, that He should take His rightful place as King.

Blessings,

Crystina

I decided to read Romans 12 after all :) It’s a shorter chapter than 8, so it works out well that I have fewer days to read it in for memorisation. I did my reading of it 4 times this week: I did not read on Friday and Sunday as previously decided, but unfortunately also missed reading it on Tuesday.

It was my bad for not prioritising it. It is a wonderful chapter that I am not as familiar with as I’d like to be, so I’m glad I have a chance to read it more this month.

This week I managed to get a lot of my to-do list complete, which I’m thanking God for. But I do notice that a lot of my faith-related to-do’s (i.e. record and upload, reading, evangelism) remain incomplete. There are some reasons for this – most relate to being really tired and working more, but I really could have gotten them done if I wanted to. It shouldn’t be a comparison, but a lot of personal things that I wanted to do were also neglected due to lack of time or energy.

That said, Jacky and I discussed some of the things that were eating into my time that was also causing me to become more tired than usual, and we’ve already made changes to combat this, for which I am very grateful.

Next week, I shall make it a priority, as it should be.

Blessings,

Crystina

It is the end of January and thus the final of my January check-ins. My January mini-resolution was to read Romans 8 once per day. This check-in will be for the 25th – 31st January. Goodness, this month flew by, didn’t it?

I didn’t read daily this week – actually I skipped 3 days: Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. I’m not sure why I skipped Wednesday, but Friday we did have Bible Study, and Saturday honestly I have no excuse – we didn’t even have our usual Bible Study with my family because I woke up so late and exhausted. But to be honest, I don’t have an excuse for skipping my reading on any of those days.

I noticed this week that I was no longer as serious about reading it as I had been before. Perhaps it’s because I’d seen the same text day after day that I’d begun to get bored? Or, at least, the words weren’t sinking in properly anymore. Reading the passage daily almost became a chore.

However, today, after taking a couple days’ break from reading, I really enjoyed reading it again. In fact, I realised that I’d been able to recite more of the passage than I had before, and was able to commit more to memory than I had done in the past as well.

Perhaps with anything else in life: there are days when you need a bit of a break before getting back into it with more vigour. The Word of God should never be taken that way, of course; I am not saying it’s a good idea to take days off from spending time with God in devotion, meditation on the Word and prayer.

But since this is a specific resolution to read the same passage daily, perhaps it does help to give my brain some rest so it can retain some of what it’s read and not get tired of the repetition.

For February, I still haven’t quite figured out what I’d like to read. I haven’t sat down to devote time to memorise Romans 8 fully, though I can recite 80% of it by now. Still, I think I would like to put it aside for a little while and then come back to it.

Shall I move on to Romans 12? Or perhaps one of the Psalms… I’ll pray about it a little more, and will put up a new update post once I decide. I will, however, take 2 days’ rest per week from reading the passage: Fridays (fellowship) and Sundays (sabbath), to hopefully allow more time for the passage to sink in to my brain and avoid repetition fatigue.

Blessings,

Crystina