A Christian’s Open Letter to Myka and James Stauffer

Dear Myka and James Stauffer,

You are trash and I hate you.

This is what I’d love to write. This is honestly how I feel in my heart right now. But I am a Christian, and I am called to not hate you, but rather love you despite hating your sin, and oh boy do you have a lot. Not that I don’t have my own sins, but you — how dare you? How could you? How can you?

You call yourselves Christians, so I will judge you as a Christian according to 1 Corinthians 5:12. Listen well, “Christians”:

You live in unrepentant sin.

This is not an exhaustive list of your sins – they are just the ones that I can list for now without exhausting myself mentally when I think of you:

You live in the unrepentant sin of uprooting an innocent child from his loving foster home in China.
You live in the unrepentant sin of exploiting him for views and millions of dollars.
You live in the unrepentant sin of lying to your viewers to fund your lavish lifestyle under the guise of paying for your child’s medical care.
You live in the unrepentant sin of abusing your adopted child.
You live in the unrepentant sin of acting upon your White Saviour Complex for shoulder pats and affirmation.
You live in the unrepentant sin of attempting to gaslight a non-verbal 4yr old to absolve yourself of responsibility.
You live in the unrepentant sin of inflicting unspeakable mental damage and trauma upon him for the rest of his life. As if he wasn’t already struggling enough.
You live in the unrepentant sin of declaring that you are the victim here, and that you are justified in abandoning him. Sorry, my bad, you “re-homed” him. Like an animal.
And the worst part: you live in the unrepentant sin of using the name of God in vain, suggesting that He is all-loving and therefore forgives you for everything.

How dare you.

God does indeed forgive. But He forgives those who are repentant. He forgives those who come before Him, crying for forgiveness, begging on their knees for mercy, broken by the weight of the sins on their shoulders. He desires mercy, and He will never turn away a contrite heart.

But you? You are shallow, selfish, narcissistic, greedy… insolent, haughty, boastful, an inventor of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. You are filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. You deserve to die.

So repent. Genuinely repent. You do not fool anyone with your crocodile tears. Come before Him with your true heart and your true tears. Beg for forgiveness – not so that you can manipulate your followers for more money and continue your social media career, but so that you can learn to truly love others as you love yourself.

I would love to see that day, because the world can see how much you love yourselves. I’d love to see the day you love others the same amount.

If you do not repent, you will face the wrath of my almighty God. You do not know Him for you worship the god of yourself, an image created by you. But I hope you come to know Him. I hope you come to true repentance, and receive true forgiveness.

Remember this:

And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done. And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done.

Revelation 20:12-13, ESV

And thanks be to God, I no longer hate you, for I know that vengeance is His, and He will repay.

I implore you to seek truth, to seek Him. I pray that if you are grieved, you will be grieved to repentance; be convicted. I know that child is in His hands, as are you. My God will protect him, but as for you – decide if you will be true to your Christian claims, or stop using the name of God in vain.

With all the Christ-like love I can muster,
Crystina.

Black Lives Matter #BlackoutTuesday

I was yesterday years old when I finally understood why All Lives Can’t Matter Until Black Lives Matter. I still don’t understand all of it, but I am thankful that I am no longer as ignorant as I once was, and I’m sorry it’s taken this long.

I have other blog posts in drafts that I was originally going to publish these days, but those can wait. This is so much more important.

To be honest I’m still processing, and there’s just been so much happening in the world that is draining my mental and emotional capacity, but today is #blackouttuesday, and I want to note down my initial thoughts. I’ve been quiet on this issue for a long time, but no more.

I’m not sure how or where to begin, but perhaps I will start by making public the messages I’ve written to friends privately.

View Full Post

I’m trying to grow everything.

It began with randomly trying to propagate my money tree. We’d just re-organised my desk area and I put my little money tree nodes into a mason jar and put it by the windowsill (you can see it in the background of these photos).

Unfortunately, being so close to the window burned some of its leaves because the sun gets very strong towards the afternoon, so I moved it to the top of my bookshelf instead.

I thought it’d died. But lo and behold! It’s starting to grow roots! The main stem has started to grow a whole host of roots, and even the leaf nodes have started to show signs of sprouting roots.

View Full Post

I finally snapped.

I did it. I finally snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was way too hot and my hair was way too long with way too many split ends… so, last night, I finally went at it with a pair of craft scissors – the same pair I used to cut my hubby’s hair a few weeks prior.

We went from this:

To this:

To this:

View Full Post