At one point I’ll do something more fun like a restaurant review, or take some posey photos of myself dressed slightly more presentable and call it a fashion post, but these days I’ve just been going home and vegging out in pyjamas with junk food and Gilmore Girls. Except for Wednesday evenings – that’s reserved for cell group :)
Anyways, today I ended up at the Apple Store in Grand Central Station after work (explanation to come at a later date) and since I am walking everywhere these days, Google Maps told me to walk along the waterfront back home.
That’s when I realised… I actually live in a really pretty area. I took these photos on the way back:
I didn’t realise people could actually fish here. I thought that was pretty cool actually.
You see those brown buildings? You can walk along the path up along the waterfront until that first building, then there is a gate that blocks off the area. I hadn’t realised it, but that entire area is my back yard. I mean, I kinda thought that maybe it was part of the plaza where I lived, but Google Maps was telling me I lived further than that (Google lied, or just hadn’t caught up with my geolocation yet.)
It’s only after I got closer that I was thinking it reaaaaally looked like where I lived. Like, really, really. Like, wait, I recognise that bus stop. And those stairs. And that bridge. Okay that’s my building.
We’re talking big brown building in the foreground (not my building), big brown building sliiiightly further than big brown building in foreground (yup, that’s my building), tiny brown buildings in background (not my building).
Wow, I mean, I knew I was blessed, but… suddenly I’m that much more appreciative. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t love New York, but I more or less have the best deal going over here. Today the weather was finally a lot nicer as well, although, being me with a general dislike for NYC, I still found something to complain about (“it wasn’t like that when I left my house this morning so I wore a jumper and scarf and now I have to carry it around!”)
That’s something I realised about myself recently. I’ve become a lot more negative again and I don’t like that I’m becoming that person. I don’t like that I’m complaining all the time (the irony!). I don’t like that I’m becoming rushed in all that I do (my walking speed has once again reached level: speeding bullet/ow-I-have-a-stitch-but-must… carry… on), which in turn stresses me out. I don’t like that, being affected by those around me, I’m starting to curse a lot again.
None of this is glorifying to Christ, but maybe that’s what He wants me to learn here: peace and calm amidst the commotion; to recondition myself so I can sleep through the storm. No matter what the circumstances are, I shouldn’t lose sight of who I am in Christ, right? And my behaviour should reflect this.
It was easy to be relaxed, calm and collected when I was in an office sort-of alone, in a beautiful city by the beach where the sun always shone and the pace of life was slow and the people were happier and friendlier in general. Put me in a concrete jungle with crappy weather, car horns blaring, people cursing and garbage-lined streets and all of a sudden I don’t feel so loving any more.
My colleagues here are lovely, but I am having to readjust – or, in fact, re-learn how – to interact with colleagues again and it took this move for me to realise that it was a skill I’d actually lost. Sigh.
Slowly but surely, I’ll get used to it here. And I will keep changing for the better. Not by my strength, but by His.
One thing I definitely do like though: I have eaten more chocolate, cakes, chocolate cakes etc. in the past two weeks than the past two years combined and have not put on weight (touch wood!). Actually that’s a lie, I don’t know if I have put on weight or not because I haven’t stepped on scales in yonks, but I don’t look any larger and my clothes aren’t tighter, probably because I’ve been walking everywhere.
I mean, if I cut out the sugar I could probably lose weight, but given the stress of moving I didn’t want to deprive myself of comfort food as well. So once I’m a little more settled I will probably stop binge eating crap. Until then, I’m going to keep up this see-food diet: see food, eat it. Especially if it’s chocolate flavoured.
Oh! And the wonderful community managers of the co-working space I work at make it that much sweeter:
One of them wrote me the nicest ever welcome card inviting me to lunch with them, and another gave me cold brew coffee. I mean, food. And free (good) coffee. They really know the way to my heart!