Today’s a nice date, so it’s as good a day as any to make a little note and share a little news, eh? So, my last post was back in October. I was blogging regularly and still in the process of posting my Seattle updates after our anniversary trip. Then, absolute silence for months. Months! Not even a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, blah blah blah post.
Well… this happened:
Hoooh boy. When I tell you I was not expecting it and it completely knocked me out… yeah, it completely knocked me out. There were signs, but I didn’t actually realise I was pregnant until I woke up one morning and I felt sick. I came downstairs and told my husband that I felt nauseous.
Then the puzzle pieces started falling into place: the beyond next level exhaustion I’d been feeling for the past couple of weeks (to the extent I had to go home early as I’d almost passed out at wushu class one evening, then skipped all subsequent classes because I couldn’t wake up from my 3-4hr afternoon nap on the sofa), my awkwardly heightened sense of smell, me going insane thinking that my boobs had gotten bigger…
Oh, and the fact that my period was already pretty late, lol.
I mean, I’d also been very stressed out from work at the time and my period has been known to come late at times I’ve felt under insane stress, so I literally just thought it was late. But, nope. The second I told Jacky I felt nauseous, we both just froze and looked at one another with a mix of surprise, wonderment, excitement topped with a healthy dollop of sheer horror.
I went out and got a couple of pregnancy tests that day and…
Time to make some calls to my doctor, lol.
Now when I say it was unexpected, I’d like to clarify that it had been planned but we hadn’t been trying for very long. We thought that it may take months or even a year and were just leaving it to God’s timing. I wasn’t tracking my cycle and we weren’t actually actively trying, but God decided we should just get pregnant.
It’s a tremendous blessing that we don’t take lightly, but at the same time I’d be lying if I said we didn’t feel like deer caught in the headlights when we were coming to grips with the implications. It’s a huge responsibility. Even now I don’t feel like we’re ready, but we’re excited.
God has been so faithful, and we’ve been so, so blessed thus far. Church friends have gifted us pregnancy pillows & other pregnancy necessities, baby clothes, books etc. I’m too overwhelmed to look at everything I need and research all the pregnancy products that are out there, but God knew exactly what I needed and provided.
My biggest fear was that we wouldn’t be able to afford the cost of having this child, but literally the month we found out we were pregnant, we were able to review our health insurance and found that we were already on the best insurance for our needs… and that the insurance basically covers everything when it comes to pregnancy care.
I get regular check ups for free, blood tests and ultrasounds etc. for free, necessary vaccines for free, even a breast pump for free. I think we’ll have to pay for the hospital stay when it comes time to actually give birth, but even still it’ll only be a fraction of the $5-10k I was previously anticipating it would cost.
Both our families were thrilled when we told them, and our parents have already planned to be visit and stay with us for 2-3mo each after the birth, and we are very grateful that they’ll be here taking care of us. Even Jacky’s paternity leave is looking to be pretty decent.
As nervous as I am, this child is His and He will continue to provide.
That said, my first trimester was some fresh levels of
living hell awful. I’ve told multiple people that, had I known pregnancy would feel like this, I might have reconsidered having a baby. I was only 75% joking. The combination of nausea and fatigue basically knocked me out entirely for… well… until now? Haha.
Okay, that’s a little exaggerated. The nausea stopped at week 12 or 13 I think it was. Like magic, one morning it just disappeared as suddenly as it appeared. But up until that morning I was either exhausted and being curled up on the sofa unmoving, feeling sick and being curled up on the sofa unmoving, or being sick heaving my guts out over the sink.
My nose was either blocked or runny or both at the same time, I couldn’t sleep properly and woke up 3-4x/night, I had random food cravings and could not eat leftovers, I was feeling so hormonal I literally cried watching a Netflix show where children in Japan were running errands for the first time.
Jacky had to take over exclusive cat-feeding duties because the smell of cat food made me feel sick. I couldn’t paint my nails because I couldn’t stand the smell, but I also couldn’t have painted them anyway because my nails had become super brittle.
And, of course, I had no energy to blog or record videos or basically do anything. What did I even do in my first trimester? Gosh, it’s such a blur. I just remember the symptoms and being completely wiped out on a daily basis.
I’d planned a trip back home to visit my family in December because I literally hadn’t seen them in almost 3yrs but ended up catching COVID right before my trip. I was thankfully recovered enough to make the flight, but first trimester symptoms basically meant I could barely leave the house anyway (plus it was freezing) and it took me 2 full weeks before I finally got over my jet lag. Just enough time to enjoy Christmas before flying back to the States, haha.
In January I visited Hong Kong for the very first time, immediately followed by Japan for the very first time. It was fun but also exhausting. I had more energy since it was my second trimester, but my body still needed more rest than I was giving it.
I finally came back to the States in February and, well, it’s basically taken a month and a half for me to finally write up this post because energy. Sorry!
All that is to say, it’s been a crazy past few months. Wacky, weird, wonderful, exhausting, exhilarating and everything in between. I’m excited to share more about it with you but now I’m basically 6 months behind on posts, gah! Honestly I’ve no idea how long it’ll take me to catch up on all the writing, but we’ll see how it goes.
Right now, I’m taking it slowly, one day at a time, and enjoying every moment as much as I can. It feels like I blinked and I’m already nearing the end of my second trimester. Baby will be here soon and our lives will be changed again entirely.
For now, I’m learning to take long, deep breaths and trying to process all the changes that are happening while praying about how best to glorify God during this season.