Today is technically the last day of the challenge I gave myself. In total, including this one, it would have been 12 out of 30 days that I posted. From a grading perspective, that would be a fail. But thankfully, my salvation is not determined on whether or not I pass or fail a self-imposed devo writing challenge.

Thankfully, God’s love for me is not weakened by my lack of self-discipline or public devotionals. Thankfully, my relationship with my Creator is not dependent on anything I do at all.

Thankfully, Jesus has already accomplished it all on the cross by dying for my sins and rising from the dead so that I may no longer be dead in my transgressions but have eternal life by believing in Him. And He has given me the Holy Spirit as a seal and guarantor of this inheritance.

I really enjoyed this challenge actually, and I really enjoyed writing devos on here every now and again. I think a daily one might be a little too much for me, but I would like to continue to write regular devotionals if possible. There’s so much to give thanks for, so much to praise Him for. I would like to write about it given the opportunity.

Heavenly Father,

You are such an awesome God. I am so grateful that no part of my sin can ever tear me away from Your love. I am so thankful for Your Son, Jesus, who bore my sin and shame on the cross, and died the death that I deserved, and suffered Your wrath that should have been for me. I thank You that through Jesus, I now am not only spared from death, but I have a restored relationship with You – God, in three Persons – and eternal life, sealed by Your Spirit dwelling in me. This is a gift – Your grace – freely given, and there is nothing I can do to ever deserve this.

Thank You that no matter what happens in life, I can be safe and secure in this knowledge of this. I know my identity is in You, my life is in Your hands, and all things are under Your control – please take control, Lord. I pray that I may live my life in a way that is glorifying to You.

May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

Heavenly Father,

There is much to be giving thanks for today: thank You for my husband, thank You for my family, thank You for my friends, that You that we are still safe and healthy, thank You for life, thank You for warmth, thank You food, thank You for shelter. Thank You for every good thing that is in my life.

Today Jacky and I cooked a thanksgiving meal together – for me, it was the first thanksgiving meal I’ve made in my life. It tasted incredible. Thank You for that, too.

Most of all, thank You for You. Thank You for being my God. Thank You for Your Son, Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins that I might have a renewed and reconciled relationship with You. Thank You that Jesus not only died, but rose again on the 3rd day, that through His life I might also have eternal life.

Thank You that through the indwelling of Your Spirit I have been brought into Your family and am able to enjoy eternal fellowship with the Godhead. Thank You that You have loved me with an everlasting love and chosen me to bring out of darkness and into eternal light. You are awesome, God.

May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

The main thing about not posting here in such a long time is that… man, all those distractions. It’s amazing how an entire day can pass and yet all the majority of items on my to-do list are not ticked off. Over the past few months it’s become increasingly clear that I seem to enjoy bursts of productivity rather than a continuous flow of disciplined work.

I will leave many things that I need to do to build up, and then once it’s piled up sky high it’ll finally cause me enough stress to want to get them done. This is something I’d like to change about myself, and again it’s down to a problem with my lack of self discipline.

Self control is one of the fruits of the Spirit; unfortunately one I am gravely lacking in. Honestly I thought I’d improved already, but clearly it is something that I still desperately need to work on.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for revealing these things to me in Your kindness. Thank You for answering my prayers of showing me the areas I need to grow in, and the fruits of the Spirit I do not yet possess. Thank You for Your steadfast love, that has accompanied me and through which You have gently disciplined me since before I even knew You, for You have known me before the world began.

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:13-16; 23-24, ESV

May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

It has been a week; despite setting myself this challenge and going to bed thinking multiple times that I should have written something, it seems that I haven’t been able to do it. Again it’s not that I haven’t had devo time during this week, but it is likely that I haven’t had enough devo time or prioritised writing a public devo.

As I sort of have more people finding this blog, YouTube channels, Twitch etc. recently, I really do want to be more careful about what I write if it’s faith related. Before I publish, I want to consider: is it edifying? Does it glorify God? If people read what I write and see my behaviour, do they view my attitude in a positive light? How can I bring up the fact that any of these positive things are wholly attributed to Christ’s influence in my life and give glory to Him in a way that my sincerity can be felt?

And more than anything else, how can I share this love of Christ with them so that they may come to know Jesus and receive that love for themselves as well? And should I ever be granted opportunities to have those conversations, how can I make it clear that I am not here to judge, for if anyone should be condemned I would be first in line.

I don’t have the answers, but I do know this: God the Father, Son and Spirit does, so I leave it in His hands. In the meantime I will continue to love Him and others as deeply as I possibly can, according to His will.

Heavenly Father,

What a gracious God You are; mighty to save, rich in mercy and abounding in steadfast love. Thank You so much that You have granted me favour with new communities that I have joined online. Thank You that You have deemed it fit to use me to share Your gospel on Twitch as well as this blog. Thank You first and foremost that You have saved me through your Son, Jesus.

Lord, You know I am not good with words and I often speak before I think. I pray that I will be sensitive to the moving of Your Spirit, that You might speak through me when gospel opportunities arise. I pray that I will represent You well. I pray that those with whom I interact are able to feel the love I have for them because of what You’ve done in my life. I pray that I will be bold to speak up where possible, giving all glory to Your Name. May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

Today I witnessed my court case being dismissed on the grounds of insufficient testimony since the citing officer did not show up and did not request an extension for the case. Without needing to present the evidence I’d collected to support my case, I was free to go with no fine to pay. Today may have been Friday 13th, but for me it was full of blessings.

The past few days have certainly been stressful as I prepared those court case documents, but ultimately God was so faithful in not only granting me peace, but also a favourable outcome. Before my case was dismissed, I witnessed another woman be sentenced for a different case where she had been found guilty beyond reasonable doubt and was fined.

Jacky accompanied me, and it was the first time either of us had been in a courtroom. He mentioned in the car after the case was dismissed, that it gave him a new perspective of and appreciation for what standing before a judge felt like.

One day, we will all face a Divine Judge who will judge our sins — but for those who are trusting in Jesus, while we will be found guilty beyond reasonable doubt like the first woman, the penalty of that fine has already been paid for us by Christ.

What stuck most in my mind was something different though. I had been one of four people to have their cases dismissed. I had been the last to be called up to receive the case dismissal form, and while everyone else had left in silence, I said, “Thank you” to the judge. But it was the judge’s response that really surprised me: she said, “Thank you” back.

When I first moved to America, it took some adjusting to accept that the American response to “Thank you” was “You’re welcome”, even if your ‘thank you’ should have been taken as a polite gesture rather than genuine gratitude since the other person hadn’t really done anything to deserve your thanks (“Please hold”, “Okay, thank you”, “You’re welcome” was one that really irked me initially). I’d been taught to perceive such blunt ‘You’re welcome’s as rude, but after a while I realised that they weren’t being rude: that’s just how they were brought up to respond.

Perhaps thanking back was her default response to people thanking her, but it really touched my heart that the judge said “Thank you” to my thanks.

Jacky and I have been praying pretty much throughout the entire day, so this one will be brief :)

Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much, once again. You are so deserving of all the gratitude in my heart. I pray that today I have been a good ambassador for You, Your Son and Your Spirit. May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina