It has been a week; despite setting myself this challenge and going to bed thinking multiple times that I should have written something, it seems that I haven’t been able to do it. Again it’s not that I haven’t had devo time during this week, but it is likely that I haven’t had enough devo time or prioritised writing a public devo.

As I sort of have more people finding this blog, YouTube channels, Twitch etc. recently, I really do want to be more careful about what I write if it’s faith related. Before I publish, I want to consider: is it edifying? Does it glorify God? If people read what I write and see my behaviour, do they view my attitude in a positive light? How can I bring up the fact that any of these positive things are wholly attributed to Christ’s influence in my life and give glory to Him in a way that my sincerity can be felt?

And more than anything else, how can I share this love of Christ with them so that they may come to know Jesus and receive that love for themselves as well? And should I ever be granted opportunities to have those conversations, how can I make it clear that I am not here to judge, for if anyone should be condemned I would be first in line.

I don’t have the answers, but I do know this: God the Father, Son and Spirit does, so I leave it in His hands. In the meantime I will continue to love Him and others as deeply as I possibly can, according to His will.

Heavenly Father,

What a gracious God You are; mighty to save, rich in mercy and abounding in steadfast love. Thank You so much that You have granted me favour with new communities that I have joined online. Thank You that You have deemed it fit to use me to share Your gospel on Twitch as well as this blog. Thank You first and foremost that You have saved me through your Son, Jesus.

Lord, You know I am not good with words and I often speak before I think. I pray that I will be sensitive to the moving of Your Spirit, that You might speak through me when gospel opportunities arise. I pray that I will represent You well. I pray that those with whom I interact are able to feel the love I have for them because of what You’ve done in my life. I pray that I will be bold to speak up where possible, giving all glory to Your Name. May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

Today I witnessed my court case being dismissed on the grounds of insufficient testimony since the citing officer did not show up and did not request an extension for the case. Without needing to present the evidence I’d collected to support my case, I was free to go with no fine to pay. Today may have been Friday 13th, but for me it was full of blessings.

The past few days have certainly been stressful as I prepared those court case documents, but ultimately God was so faithful in not only granting me peace, but also a favourable outcome. Before my case was dismissed, I witnessed another woman be sentenced for a different case where she had been found guilty beyond reasonable doubt and was fined.

Jacky accompanied me, and it was the first time either of us had been in a courtroom. He mentioned in the car after the case was dismissed, that it gave him a new perspective of and appreciation for what standing before a judge felt like.

One day, we will all face a Divine Judge who will judge our sins — but for those who are trusting in Jesus, while we will be found guilty beyond reasonable doubt like the first woman, the penalty of that fine has already been paid for us by Christ.

What stuck most in my mind was something different though. I had been one of four people to have their cases dismissed. I had been the last to be called up to receive the case dismissal form, and while everyone else had left in silence, I said, “Thank you” to the judge. But it was the judge’s response that really surprised me: she said, “Thank you” back.

When I first moved to America, it took some adjusting to accept that the American response to “Thank you” was “You’re welcome”, even if your ‘thank you’ should have been taken as a polite gesture rather than genuine gratitude since the other person hadn’t really done anything to deserve your thanks (“Please hold”, “Okay, thank you”, “You’re welcome” was one that really irked me initially). I’d been taught to perceive such blunt ‘You’re welcome’s as rude, but after a while I realised that they weren’t being rude: that’s just how they were brought up to respond.

Perhaps thanking back was her default response to people thanking her, but it really touched my heart that the judge said “Thank you” to my thanks.

Jacky and I have been praying pretty much throughout the entire day, so this one will be brief :)

Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much, once again. You are so deserving of all the gratitude in my heart. I pray that today I have been a good ambassador for You, Your Son and Your Spirit. May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

I don’t really know how to begin. Even with ‘challenge’ in the title you can clearly see that I have skipped days. I have continued to think upon and have devotionals, but I have not written them publicly.

There has been a few things on my heart lately, but mostly I continue to be in awe of the God I serve. Delighting in the Trinity is one of those books that is really helping me to piece together the fragments of knowledge that I’ve collected about the Trinity over the years, and bring them together to form a deeper understanding and far greater appreciation for who God is.

Finally I’m able to better understand what John meant when he wrote “God is love” in 1 John 4, and better understand the Person of the Holy Spirit, and better understand how everything God does comes from Him being love… and how all of that is dependent on God being Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

The doctrine of the Trinity is fundamental to Christian beliefs; I’ve always known this, but never truly studied it. I have indeed been very blessed by studying this book with my Wednesday women’s group.

I had a really lovely time of devotion this morning as well… it really had been a while since I’ve had a deeper devotional time. I can’t quite explain the multitude of emotions I felt from it but I can tell you it was something I’d been in desperate need of for some time.

Despite some things creeping up and causing me to feel a little anxious every now and again, I’m filled with gratitude today. I felt such a strong sense of peace and comfort this morning. I know my God is in control; I just need to focus on being Kingdom-minded.

Heavenly Father,

I don’t have the words to express my gratitude towards You or how in awe of You I am of You. Your majesty and beauty leaves me breathless. Indeed, pages upon pages of psalms are written to praise You and yet they still barely scratch the surface of how truly awesome You are. You have invited me in to the fellowship of the Trinity through the indwelling of Your Spirit. Oh that I could be gifted with words, to write a love letter that would be remotely worthy of describing You. Blessed be Your name, O Lord. May You and You alone be glorified.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

Heavenly Father,

You are not surprised by the results of the election, and I thank You that indeed You are sovereign, and You have chosen Biden for Your purposes. In light of these election results, I continue to pray that those who call themselves Christians – especially myself – will respond in a manner that is glorifying to You.

I am so deeply reminded of my need for You – and indeed, humanity’s need for you; the need for a Saviour. In a nation so divided, I only see need of more love, more forgiveness, more grace… all of these things that we – or at least I – could never achieve on our own willpower, for we are all fallen; selfish, prideful, sinful.

We are all so broken. We have all sinned in different ways. We have all been hurt in different ways. Most of us have been deeply traumatised in one way or another. We try to rationalise any sinful responses as due to what we have been through, we try to diminish our responsibility to ease our conscience, we tell ourselves that You do not exist so therefore there is no ultimate authority to whom we are accountable.

But at the end of the day, what we need is You: Your perfect, perfect love and perfect forgiveness… to know that we are deeply loved no matter what, to know that we are fully forgiven and can have reconciliation with You – our Father, creator God – through simply accepting and believing in Jesus.

I pray that those who have been hurt may have opportunities to reach out to You, be comforted by You, and accept the deep, deep love and complete forgiveness and reconciliation that they can have with You through Your Son Jesus Christ; to be restored into a right relationship with You but also made whole – made new. And not only that, but to also have hope of eternity in Christ’s second coming.

I thank You that I have had the privilege of turning to You and accepting Christ, that now those former burdens have disappeared in light of Your salvation and grace. I pray that I will be desperate to share your love, compassion, passion and heart for the lost and to show them how deeply You care for them as well. You have not given up on them, I pray that I will not either. No one is too far gone for You, O Lord. I pray that I will not forget this. Please, if You are willing, use me for Your Kingdom purposes.

Lord May You and You alone be glorified. Amen.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina

It was bound to happen, I suppose, that there would be a day I didn’t add a devotional despite ‘challenging’ myself to. I don’t really have an excuse, my priorities were off – I was distracted by Twitch, YouTube and Discord and the day disappeared.

I did read Bible yesterday, in that I was reading/re-reading Hebrews 7-8 for recording purposes. But I don’t know if I really took time to reflect on what I was reading. In addition, I was not satisfied with any of my reading takes so eventually gave up. (I did complete the recording today though.)

Today I also re-read most of Ephesians as part of Friday fellowship in the evening (very fitting that one of the themes is unity during times like this). There is a lot to think upon, but primarily I am taking time to really consider if I am being a good ambassador for Christ or living a godly life.

Can people tell that I live for Someone greater than myself? Am I even living for Someone greater than myself? Do my words reflect the love of Christ? Does my heart reflect that of one forgiven from their many sins? Do I show grace the way I am shown grace? If I’m honest, I think the answer a lot of the time is ‘no’.

Lord Jesus,

I am sorry that I so often forget You in my life. Though You are to be the centre of my life and being, so often I place You as an afterthought. Yet without You I would have no life. Lord, I thank You that You continue to convict and bring me back before Your presence. I thank You for dying on the cross for my sins… You suffered the sinner’s death that I deserved and gifted me grace that I do not deserve and could never earn.

Lord, please, please, please do not let me continue to take it for granted. Do not let me go a day without kneeling before You and remembering Your sacrifice, Lord. Let my heart be filled with gratitude for Your love, let that love flow outwards in my attitude towards others as well. King Jesus, You are highly exalted above the heavens… please take your rightful place as King of my heart. May I live for you.

Lord, please give me an eagerness for the spread of Your Kingdom and Your gospel. Grant me a heart for the lost as You care for them. Grant me eyes to see how to reach out to them in a loving way. Grant me a heart that loves those whom You love, especially my brothers and sisters, with whom I am reconciled by your blood and have unity with by Your Spirit.

In the wake of the election, I still pray that regardless of what the result is, that those who call themselves Christians – especially myself – will respond in a manner that is glorifying to You. May You and You alone be glorified. Amen.

Soli Deo gloria,

Crystina